whose woods are these i think i know

Alright, fine

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:28:23 GMT

Now I, too, am on the Bookface.

What can I say, I just wanted to be one of the cool kids.

Then HEY! for a life of washing-up

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:49:36 GMT

So I have been admitted into the sacred interior of the Davies Lab as an acolyte. For the past week I have been shown the various rites and rituals that are the acolyte's lot - Washing Up, every day, that the god of glassware not leave us bereft. Evacuation, and Flushing With Nitrogen, thrice, that the Oxygen Devil not undo our holy work. Collection of Glassware from the furnace of purification, and the assembly of diverse sacred works.

The Glove Box is far too great a shrine for human hands to touch. We sully it with our very presence, our mere breath, and so all devotions done therein must undergo the Ritual of Evacuation and Nitrogen, thrice, in the side-chapel. While one waits for the vacuum gauge to reach the bottom, indicating that all traces of Oxygen, The Destroyer, have been removed, one meditates upon the bounty of the Department so that when the offerings are finally purged clear of contagion and are ready to be admitted into the interior of the shrine, one is in a sufficiently devout state of mind to use the Great Gloves without damage.

Today, I was honoured. I was permitted to go, alone, to the deep vaults of the Inter-faculty NMR Facility.

In that great room to which all mere mortals are admitted only on sufferance, lines of black and yellow mark on the floor the places we may tread without the wrath of Electromagnet reaching out to strike us down. I stayed well back, less the abundance of metal in my person offend the mighty Field. O you foolish men that declare niobium to be a non-magnetic metal! The powers at work within that room cannot be so easily dismissed.

A sign was given to me: 400B, 15. The words of NMR cannot be heard by mortal ears. I came humble indeed to the Translators, approaching them with the correct offerings and pass-signs, and was not destroyed. On Monday shall I offer a prayer that NMR may have seen fit to grant me a holy riddle to decode, that I may know whether I made a Gilman reagent, or whether I fucked up again.

Bugger!

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:08:19 GMT

Those who've been paying attention will know that my mother is a bee-keeper, and I assist. Well today it turns out there's a sting in the tail of this cosy domestic apiculture: I've apparently developed an allergy to bees. Being stung in the head really goddamn sucks even without a body-wide plague of itchery and nastiness. I guess I have to start being scared of bees now :-(

Further details

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:47:59 GMT

I'm going to have to take it on trust that this Farcebook thing of Ian's is what he says it is.

On request: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=103680086047

An Event, Ladies and Gentlemen!

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:03:47 GMT

http://www.wellcomecollection.org/exhibitionsandevents/events/Quacks-and-Cures/index.htm

Who's up for going? I fully expect this to be awesome as the Wellcome Collection is a brilliant establishment.

Transformers! ((a rant))

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:08:32 GMT

I have finally sorted through the inchoate mess of impressions left upon me by Transformers 2.

I have discovered that I am actually angry - properly angry - at Michael Bay and everyone else involved in that goddamn abortion of a movie. Here we have a movie that involves giant alien robots, explosions, and some of the world's finest CGI. Optimus Prime, Megatron, Darth Soundwave. Not gonna be revelatory but should be awesome, right? ((oh and for those who like plastic women but don't want to watch porn I guess I should count Megan Fox in hotpants as a positive))

WRONG!

Instead we have a shitty pile of shitty stupid adolescent jokes and Shia shitty LeBouf's shitty fucking face spewing shitty fucking lines. The Transformers are background characters in their own fucking movie. Well fucking done Michael Bay you cocked up the easiest fucking thing in the world. I hate this movie, so much, SO MUCH. It has ONE redeeming feature: Bumblebee. There is no plot. There are no characters. There is no point. The thing that should've made it great - GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS - are all but missing. Nobody gives the tiniest shit about poor Sam's struggles to be a Normal Little Boy when he goes to college, not when we could be watching GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS. This movie is boring, which is the one thing a movie about alien robots that turn into trucks and tanks and fucking jet planes shouldn't be.

In summary: boring piece of half-digested shit. I want my brain cells back.

Also there are subsidiary rants about the colander they call a plot; racial stereotyping ((LOL black people are illiterate and it's hilarious!)); 'only America can save us now! GOD BLESS THE USA! Aren't you glad you have Uncle Sam in charge to protect the world with the incredible power of our patriotically perfect army!'; and frankly the way the movie deals with women would outrage the sensibilities of Genghis fucking Khan but there is not enough space in the universe to encompass all that is wrong with the way Transformers 2 treats its female 'characters' let ALONE the rest of this utter turd of a movie so I'll leave it here.

Freaking people out by humanizing the SS

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 00:39:42 GMT

http://kalleboo.mirror.waffleimages.com/files/39/39ea993330a9af90d2f37b3aa523acde2af5f264.jpg

"Oh shit Hans, we have no ball of wool!"

"Give him a grenade to play with."

"Oh no! It is too heavy for his little paws! How about a flower?"

fuck this shit

Fri, 29 May 2009 16:34:32 GMT

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/5395830/Abu-Ghraib-abuse-photos-show-rape.html

So the shine begins to wear pretty quickly off the Golden Boy, huh. Good thing the most powerful nation on Earth is led by a salwart, brave man who isn't afraid to bow to pressure... from the leaders... of a corrupt and broken army... who appear to've institutionalized every sort of torture and abuse... for shits 'n giggles.

After all the only purpose these pictures will serve is a legal one, right? And you know rape and mutilation aren't crimes or anything, at least not if the CIA and the army says you're allowed. We were only following orders, isn't that how it goes? No need to try anyone for this shit. Especially not given that releasing the photographic evidence of egregious human rights abuses that practically everyone knew or assumed was happening anyway might *gasp* tarnish the gleaming reputation of the United States of America!

I'm disappointed in you, Obama. For some reason I thought that 'setting a good precedent as a black leader of a historically racist country' would, somehow, translate to 'being a better person than the disgusting dregs of humanity who rape children in front of their parents'. Apparently not, not if the last few pathetic shreds of shit-soaked dignity that America has left are at stake.

Goddamn men with guns, nothing good comes of a situation when you let men with guns in.

A carefully honed selection of lies

Fri, 29 May 2009 12:26:53 GMT

Or, Things I Learned From My Supervisor

-There are few sights as endearing as a grizzled academic to whom a possibly novel idea for a reaction has suddenly occurred.

-Studying an area of chemistry that nobody else in the department really gives a shit about makes poster sessions potentially hilarious. I sing the making-shit-up song.

-Apparently archaeology is a proper science. They publish articles in Nature and everything.

And another thing...

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:25:49 GMT

Take that Madgascar you little shit. Finally you are mine. Bow before the might of Parasite Kath.

Petition fever

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:55:16 GMT

petitions.number10.gov.uk helpfully provides a list of rejected petitions. Among the usual pile of whiny toss - many saying something along the lines of 'resign now' and a curious number with a single name ((we petition the Prime Minister to Peter Church?)) I found this one:

'ban the widespread use of the dangerous chemical dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO)'

...is anyone actually taken in by that anymore? Goddam, practical jokers, get some new jokes. Although it does still bitterly amuse me how often 'chemical' is a dirty word... sadly, 'Accept that Tuedays are boring and should be replaced by Fridays instead' was rejected due to being outside the remit of the Prime Minister. I would have signed that in a heartbeat.

In other news: the mingled scents of clove cigarettes and energy drinks will forever be my foremost association with Whitby. Sorry, Bram Stoker's Dracula, you just don't terrify me as much as 'Relentless' ((and this from someone who willingly downs Inka Cola)). Also, if you are ever to find yourself in that town, do visit the Dracula Experience on the pier. Do so on a Tuesday or something when there aren't any live actors to ruin the whimsically magical experience of hunting down the laser trip-wires and dodging screaming torsos.

Have you ever considered g*th music?

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:04:10 GMT

I have a theory that 'Andrew Eldritch' is a title similar to 'The Dread Pirate Roberts'. That's why there's so much smoke at a Sisters concert you can't see the front row, that's why the lineup changes so often.

It all makes sense.

What the shit

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 22:40:13 GMT

I have just sniffed every item of electrical apparatus in the living room of my parents' house, and come to the conclusion that it is a Phantom Scent I'm smelling. It smells like burning hair, strongest where I sit in front of the computer, and apparently was notable this morning as well. During the day, however... nothing, and I can't trace the smell. No wires are conspicuously badly plugged in and both the TV and computer smell like dust, not burning hair. The wardrobe smells like dust and grandmothers.

So there appears to be a stinky ghost in the living room. What the fuck, house. What are you playing at.

Google Street View

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 15:34:26 GMT

It turns out that the only photo in which number 24, Greenford Avenue would be clearly visible... is also the photo in which a bus is sitting at the stop between it and the camera.

So our house is not on Street View in any meaningful sense. This should please certain privacy-mad residents.

Bugger

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 15:29:14 GMT

I have angered the Lab God.

The three-day reaction yielded one-fifth of the amount necessary to do part two. So I forge ahead with adjusted quantities of other reactants, mixing up 'three' with 'one-third' and ending up with a massive excess of iron where there shouldn't have been one.

In response, the dark green solution that should have turned blue has spent two hours turning... sort of pink.

Results. No discussion.

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 00:37:34 GMT

1. Tesco's kitchen spray ((with bleach)) is a better oven cleaner than bad vodka, although neither are stunningly effective.

2. Kai is less cavalier than Alban about stealing fine chemicals from teaching laboratories.

Happy New President day!

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 16:40:02 GMT

I celebrated by getting soundly and cruelly mocked by a lab supervisor by not immediately understanding why pumping nitrogen into a sealed system is a good idea.

Anyway, best of luck to Mr Obama. Hopefully he will be somewhat less entertaining than his predecessor.

LEVEL UP

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 14:02:40 GMT

I have achieved Level 21! EPIC LEVEL GROSSKOPF. I plan to spend my XP on Coursework so I can get the Not Fail 3rd Year feat, also on buying up my Void ring.

Ernst has gotten me half of Fallout 3. I got him the other half for Christmas. It was decided that wrapping it half-and-half, then unwrapping the half the other person wrapped with appropriate expressions of pleasant surprise, would be the funniest way to arrange matters.

Diego Rodríguez de Silva y Velázquez

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 01:19:53 GMT

Having just shamelessly ripped off his painting of Christ Crucified ((Picocon art hopeful)), I'm beginning to reconsider my unflattering opinion of the Baroque era. Velázquez's Christ is not the angry Christ-of-war, glaring down from His cross, all but uttering 'I'll be back' in an Austrian accent. He is emaciated and pale and dying. This is how I like my Christs.

Also his portrait of Pope Innocent X is fantastic, if only for the look in the old bastard's eyes.

Hooray for expanding horizons!

Pleasant surprise is pleasant

Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:45:42 GMT

Sudden, unexpected jeans! O frabjous day!

Also MELLEN! Are you around next week on Monday and/or Tuesday because that's when I'm in London and we, like, totally need to catch up...

HATEHATEHATE

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 22:23:49 GMT

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121745387879898315.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

God forbid women should have equal sexual rights as men. If society doesn't brand us whores and sluts for enjoying sex, the White House tries to brand us murderers for doing it safely. HOORAY! Let's throw a double standards party.

Fuck you, America. The land of the free, is it? Fuck you, and the ships you sailed in on. I LIKED YOU. Why did you let me down like this? Why did you ignore all science and medicine in favour of throwing some diseased, rickets-rotted bone to the gibbering drooling monkey-fuckers that think they're Christians? ((Like fuck they are. I'm sure Jesus wouldn't want them any more than the sensible Americans do)) WHY DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND HOW IUD'S WORK.

Oh, oh, the best bit: 'In a lengthy preamble entitled "The Problem," the draft argues that state laws too often coerce health-care workers into providing services they find immoral.

Among the laws considered coercive: Requirements that emergency rooms offer rape victims the morning-after pill, insurance plans cover contraception as part of prescription-drug benefits, and pharmacists fill prescriptions for birth control.'

Pharmacists are doing their job. Society will collapse :-(

And the rape victims who want a morning-after pill? I... I guess all I can say about trying to stop that is there are not words enough in all the tongues of man and ent to curse those 'moral'-blind bastards for their vile blasphemies. Heresy, I say! HERESY. What kind of loving god do you pray to, that you think it's blessed to take one instance of bad luck and psychosis and turn it into a lifetime of victimhood? You fuckheads give religion a bad name. YOU are why 'God hates us all'. YOU are why teenagers think 'Jesus is a cunt' is a witty and powerful and deep social statement. YOU are why priests are hated and churches defiled; it's YOUR FUCKING FAULT that faith is sneered and spat upon.

Apparently it is 'coercive' and somehow unfair for fucking doctors to be legally required to offer aid and comfort in a time of desperate need.

((on another note, according to the graph in that article, more people use withdrawal as birth control than IUD's. Something is deeply rotten here))

What do these idiots want? More horrible deaths from illegal abortions? An even larger population of poor, badly-nourished, ill-educated wastrels? Because that's what'll happen. You can't turn back time like that, you can't go back to the seventeenth century and pretend the Pill never brought all its social revolution into our world. We're used to sex as recreation now and I'm pretty sure nobody can make the entire Western world shuffle back into the 'sex=children' mindset. Rich, educated women have always had ways to quietly prevent or remove unwanted zygotes / fetuses / children - it's the ones at the bottom of the heap that end up with the unwanted baby screaming its underfed head off in a dirty cot. And for every one that overcomes grave difficulties and becomes a beacon of light, I'm willing to bet there's more'n a few who end up as 'crack user' statistics or 'overcrowded prison' worries, or maybe 'infanticide trials'.

See people like Owain and my dad get upset about erosion of civil liberties, and that's fine, it's very upsetting. But GOD DAMN shit like this enrages me like no amount of fingerprinting ever could. Take it to its logical conclusion. Whoopee. I love being someone else's property, 'a machine for the production of babies'. Better make sure my six daughters know that sex is the work of the Devil 'cause they're worthless once there's been a dick in them.

Fucking fuckheaded monkeyfucking fucks with their stupid fucking moral parade. Bang your cymbals louder so we can't hear you beat your children. Get up on a higher pedestal, why don't you. Let me fetch my biggest sledgehammer, because you have no idea how much I would love to see you and your world and all your petty dreams crumble. I do not just hate your politics, I do not just resent the power you have. I hate you, personally, and with more venom than a basketful of asps.

Suck my cock, and choke on't.

exam results

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:58:18 GMT

and my mother, bless her nagging soul, will want to know in all earnestess why I couldn't get a First? Robin did, surely I'm clever enough, can she help me find strategies, surely it's just a matter of application, learn from your father he was a great student oh fuck off he didn't get a First either.

Wales: the Aftermath

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 18:19:33 GMT

Well, for one thing, I'm back at my parents' house in the country and looking for a summer job. Next year, to be living with Owain, Ernst & Robin in what by volume will be the House of Grosskopfs and by mass, the House of Goths.

Chemical Discovery and Invention in the Twentieth Century by Sir William A. Tilden, FRS, D.Sc, LL.D, Sc.D, Professor Emeritus of Chemistry in the Imperial College of Science of Technology; the guy who designed the layout when IC built its chemistry department. The list of people who helped and contributed includes Arrhenius, Rayleigh, and J.J Thomson. This book has a hell of a goddam pedigree.

Early on there are descriptions of some of the major chemical research institutes of the day ((November 1917)), including of course IC. There's a photo of what used to be the old Chemisty & Physics building ((copied below; the road in the foreground is Imperial College Road)) which is now largely SAF, diagrams of the original layout, etc. They had nicer teaching labs back then than we do now :-( though maybe open gutters for collection of spilled mercury wasn't such a great idea.

This is a popular science book from almost a century ago. This makes me a happy chemistry geek :-)

Oh, and for Alban: that lecture theatre upstairs in the old Chemistry building with the benches labelled with elements - it's largely as it was way back then.

Cover ((notice my name in gold)):

Frontispiece:

Original IC Chemistry & Physics:

O frabjous day!

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 10:10:54 GMT

Last exam is in a little under three hours. Come to the pub this afternoon.

The movie that has it all

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:56:21 GMT

Zombie Strippers
18
Comedy, Horror
Open: September 19, 2008
Starring: Robert Englund, Jenna Jameson, Roxy Saint

SYNOPSIS:
As a secret virus, capable of turning people into zombies, is released into a Nebraska strip club, the club strippers struggle whether to accept the trendy transformation.

...

Somehow I'm not expecting it to top Dark Knight for this year's awesomest movie.